I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
