He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
