jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
