I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
