he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
