drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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