and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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