I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
