New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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