The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize