If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize