just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize