We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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