yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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