why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do