i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?