All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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