so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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