Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
