my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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