just come out here and I will go home with you...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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