It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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