Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
bring money and cleavage
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel