whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina