I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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