i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
