i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
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They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
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My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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