My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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