Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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