Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
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you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
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Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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