Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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