i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize