We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife