You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT