All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize