I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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