Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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