I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
