so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
