This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
