apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm really busy with my period
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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