Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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