yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
