nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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