apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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