Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
