Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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