You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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