I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
