Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Oh god it's open bar.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
