Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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