spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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