So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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